The Good, The Bad, The Update

The Good:

Makenna was in a gymnastics Christmas program this past weekend. One show Friday night, which she did well; considering all my fears of her sulking with a pouty face out on the floor or breaking down and crying for some reason like she did during the practice rehearsals (of which there were too many and too late at night for kids her age). I couldn't stop beaming and was so proud of how well she did.

She had two more shows on Saturday which Chris had to take her to. He had success with the afternoon show (even though they showed up about 15 minutes late - more on that later,) but I can't say I was too surprised to see him come home early from the evening show.

He came home exasperated saying, "I don't know how you do it." I have found this statement to be a tremendous compliment and a great thing to hear as he realized that managing a pre-schooler and her activities is not an easy thing to do. I guess she stepped down onto something that hurt her foot which sent her into a crying melt-down. Then it caused her to miss some parts of the show that she was in which further created a screaming melt-down with the final result of just leaving early before the show was over. Part of it was probably her being tired and hungry for some real food besides junk food. She woofed down some left over "chicken-love-it" (chicken manicotti) and then went to bed. He also realized his mistake in giving her a Gatorade-which is like sugar crack to a kid. I told him I NEVER give her that and don't understand why parents do at the gym. It's not like their expending so much sweat that they need their electrolytes back in balance. At least not the kids that are Makenna's age.

Then Sunday's show, after much talk and preparation in making sure that she'd have a better performance for her last show, went terrific. In fact they came home after 8pm! I was expecting them back around 6:30 or so, and it was quite a shock when it was much later. I noticed, and so did Chris, that during the performances that she was quite a "leader." She would go out before the other kids, or start to do a somersault before the other kids, and then get up and leave the stage before she was supposed to. It was quite entertaining. In fact, on Friday night, the owner of the gymnastics place, who was also running the performances, said she was quite a performer.

The Bad:

Things with my mom have been deteriorating. There's now more tests being done for different kinds of cancer besides the initial finding. Plus her back and knees are really bothering her too. She at least has a date set prior to Christmas for the first surgery.

I took her up to Syracuse last Tuesday (Nov 30th) and met with the doctor who will be performing the surgery. She said that they can do it by laparoscopic, which is good as the healing time is much faster. But she did go over the normal downsides of surgery and said that there's a 5% chance or less that they'd have to actually cut into her if things start to go wrong or if it's more involved then what they had anticipated. Knowing my mom's luck-let's all start praying that the laparoscopic works. The doctor also said depending, they may have to treat with radiation after but they'll wait the two weeks for the definitive finds of what stage she's in before prescribing that.

As for the back pain, her local doctor has decided that her gall bladder has to come out. No big deal, but that means another surgery. Her doctor doesn't feel her body can handle both surgeries at the same time. which means more time off and more recovery after. Plus a lot of doctor bills and co-pays which has been putting her in the "red" so to say.

Then to top it all off, her car broke down yesterday on the way to church and she needed to get it fixed ASAP as she had doctor's appointments today and another one in Syracuse on Tuesday with the anesthesiologist. So off to Sears she went and I was surprised that the price to fix it was not as bad as I had feared.

I just wish I could take her to her appointment this week to Syracuse and to the surgery next week but I can't. That brings me to the


The Update:

The day after taking mom to Syracuse for her meeting, I had to go to my appointment in Syracuse and have the egg retrieval done. I unfortunately have veins that like "hide" and that are not easy to get to and the nurses and doctors found this out as they were trying to put in an IV for the procedure.

They tried my left arm which hardly anyone ever has any luck with; even when they're just trying to get blood. I tried to get them to go to my right arm but all the blood I've had to give for tests over the past two weeks made them feel that vein was too over-used. Then they started looking at the back of my hand--which I hate! I begged them to try the left arm. So they tried and failed. In comes the next person to try in the back of my hand...fail. In comes the anesthesiologist who flips my hand over (inside of the wrist,) and I begged him not to do it but he was successful and I was in pain.

I was out pretty quickly but then when I woke back up from the procedure, they had decided to do an intra-lipid therapy which they've found to have some success with recurrent failure to implant. It's basically a white looking thick liquid made of egg and soy going through the IV (and burning as it does) for over an hour, adding more fat to my body through an IV.

You would think that they could just recycle the abundance of fat I already have but that was just my wishful thinking. I definitely felt it for the next couple of days. I felt heavy and bloated. I also find myself hungry all the time. Considering that I've had to eliminate all exercise since the Monday before Thanksgiving and being hungry all the time, I don't even want to get on a scale.

Then the next day I had an appointment with a Endocrinologist to get my Thyroid level down. She feels that since I'm on generic meds it's not working in regulating my thyroid. She has prescribed me the "real" stuff but said to finish out the other. She also said it should help with the weight gain I've had since getting on the meds as it's not really regulating my thyroid effectively.

BUT...something interesting was that before my extraction I weighed myself at the doctor's office. Granted I had fasted for over nine hours and had nothing on when I got on the scale, but the next day at the endocrinologists office, after the intra-lipid therapy, with clothes on and some food in me, I was 10 pounds heavier! IN one stinking day! Now I did NOT eat 10 pounds worth of food. So I think that intra-lipid stuff filled me up along with all the fluid from the IV.

The thing that amazed me the most is how God really has looked out for us in more ways then one with this process. When I knew the transfer was coming up, I was asking him repeatedly to let the transfer be today as I wanted to be able to be with Makenna during her shows this past weekend but today turned out to be a snow day and it would've been really difficult for us to get there.

Not only that, but I had made arrangements for Makenna to stay at someones house while we went up to Syracuse on Saturday for the implant. But due to a minor car malfunction, we had to run back home and switch cars which put us behind so we just took her with us. She luckily took a nap in the waiting room with Chris while I had the procedure done. For whatever reason, (of which I think they forgot about me,) they didn't take me in for 2 hours! So it was a good thing she was with us as we raced home and threw on her gymnastics outfit and Chris took her to her show, but she was a bit late.

Luckily I prepped him on Friday night and all day Saturday about what songs she was in and how to handle her between songs. Plus he said other mothers really helped him out. One of those same mothers helped him to realize it was time to leave when she was having her massive break-down Saturday night.

I took off all this week to rest and relax and of course, as I stated above, it's a snow day and Makenna's home with me. But we've been doing well and she took a nap, which gave me a chance to nap. She needed one considering how late she got home, and then we ate dinner and then she got up her usual time. She even asked if she could take two naps.

So we've made it through another week and it will be another week before we have the results of this latest round of IVF. We can only pray that it's in God's will for us to have another as it is ours.

One funny thing from Saturday night was when Chris was explaining to me how she had the break down and he said to her, "Why did you torture me?" She said, very emphatically, "Torture you? I didn't torch you! Why are you saying I torch you?" We both broke out laughing.

I'll close with some pictures:


This is called "webbing" and it's how they had most of the girls' hair for the program. I did not do this as I had no idea how (although I think I can do it now) but more so, there' s no way she'd sit still for me to do this.

In her "angel" costume - if she was only this sweet and innocent all the time

But it's more like this!