I fear that she will go off and make mistakes that I have. I fear that she'll make worse mistakes. I fear that she'll do things that have consequences that are unchangeable.
But I also love her dearly, deeply and unconditionally. I love to watch her grow and learn new things. I love to make her laugh and watch her try to make me laugh. I love to see her get so excited over seeing things and doing things that she loves to do, or was not expecting to do. I love seeing her grow and learn at school, in her extra-curricular activities and her understanding of things.
I love seeing how she's grown in her vocabulary (even though it comes back to bite me at times,) her empathy for things, her curiosity of things (this year was a strong pre-occupation about death and dying) and her ability to read and do math in first grade that I swear I never did until at least third grade.
I love watching her doing things with her dad and having a close relationship with him - even though at times he can send her to tears on a drop of a dime. But that just shows me how strong her love is for him.
I love when she says, "Yes mommy" in a child-like innocence of wanting to please and do as I ask...who wouldn't love that!? I love when she decides to help on her own...help me clean, help to do dishes or other chores.
I love listening to her sing while she's on the toilet. I laugh when she grunts on the toilet and talks about her "experience" of going with moans and groans and "phews"! This is embarrassing to say the least when it happens in public but comical at the same time.
I love watching her get excited during a movie or show. I love watching her dance and sing to shows. I love watching her make faces. I love that she loves going to bed. I love her crawling into bed in the mornings even though I don't usually like the time.
I have a love/hate relationship with watching the videos of her as a little girl. While it makes me smile and makes my heart melt, it also makes me cry a little for the little baby I used to have.
I love being her mom and am so blessed to have had her. I hope to have SO many more years to come, watch her grow, and cry some tears of watching her grow and become a beautiful woman.
Happy Birthday my bright, lovable six year old girl!
Birthday girl in the morning
These were at school from the day before her birthday
Her birthday fell on a Saturday so we could actually have her birthday party on her birthday at Jumping Jungle - same as last year - and another Hello Kitty Cake - like last year too.
Cousin Eli taking a swing
Can you see how sweaty she is in this picture?
Here you can really see her sweat-soaked hair - at lesat she's having fun!
Cousin Eli & Cousin Natalie
Even Uncle Jared had fun!