Tuesday, August 10, 2010

My hopes

Yes, I’ve fallen a bit behind – but that’s due to a busy weekend.

On Friday, August 6th, after I picked up Makenna from pre-school and we went to CFJ park where they’ve fixed up the merry-go-round. We met her cousins Katie and Natalie and Uncle Josh. Katie was a bit leery about the merry-go-round but her sister Natalie just had a look of boredom on her face. Makenna on the other hand loved it. Even though we only went around once as her next favorite passion – water – called to her.

At CFJ they also have a mini water-park. It’s just a bunch of funny looking sprinklers for kids to run around in. Makenna loved it as to be expected but Katie’s dad forgot her bathing suit so she didn’t want her underwear to get wet – she was just potty trained so it’s amusing that she is conscious about being wet now. Natalie ran around in her diaper.

Once we were able to prey Makenna away, we then went to the park area and they played for a bit and then it was back to the merry-go-round. Katie was a bit better about it this time but she was sitting behind Makenna holding on to her. I hope this friendship stays and blossoms between her and her cousins. Right now it’s usually a lot of fighting and non-sharing, which is to be expected but I hope that changes – soon!

On Saturday, we were invited to a friend’s house to go swimming in the pool. Being that it was such a hot day we took advantage of that offer. We went down after lunch – swam for about an hour and a half then raced home to get Makenna into a nap. We wanted to go to Spiedie Fest so nap was imperative to us having a good time.

Makenna had fun swimming and is getting quite good at keeping her face under the water for longer periods of time. She had lots of fun jumping in and playing with the different pool toys that were available. I also hope that swimming is something that she sticks with in high-school and beyond – I think it’s a great way to exercise and would love to see her make a sport of it.

After her nap we did go to Spiedie Fest and made it just in time to watch her Uncle Josh win the volleyball tournament that day. Oh how I wish I still played. I am really thinking about getting back into it – just no confidence to do it.

While I was watching the volleyball, Chris took Makenna over to the bouncy-house stuff as they had a lot of it and let her go wild. She actually went up high into a couple of them to slide down. I remember last year, trying to get her to climb a large ladder to go down a slide was out of the question, even after we were already at the top. This time she went by herself. They also had another bouncy house where we would lose sight of her, which is nerve wracking, but she made it through – eventually. I actually went around the sides and started looking for her as it was taking her a bit longer than I was comfortable with but just as I went around, she came out – so I was told.

Then it was off to see the balloons and eat some spiedie’s. Makenna decided on a hotdog but that was okay – I thought my spiedie was absolutely delicious! Not enough of it though.

Chris had warned Makenna about what a hot-air balloon is/does and made sure to tell her about the fire that’s used to help get the balloon up in the air. Unfortunately, when it happened, it was so loud that it scared her and sent her into tears. Other people around us were like, “oh, poor thing.” We just walked away from the noise and calmed her down then she was okay with it and rather enjoyed watching the balloons go up. We’ve taken her to this in the past but she doesn’t remember.

We walked around a bit to look at what people were selling and then decided to leave and get some ice cream as it was cheaper at an ice cream store than at the festival. After the yummy ice cream it was back to our friends house for a bit and then it was dark and late so we didn’t stay too long.

On Sunday, we decided to go back to the Spiedie Fest again and on our way down Makenna informed us that she wasn’t scared of the fire and that we, “mom and dad,” shouldn’t be scared either. She did do much better this time but she ended up crying again as she bit her tongue while chewing popcorn. It was bleeding all over too so she really bit it good.

After the balloons went up it was back to the house and on with the rest of our week. We’re still working really hard on our listening skills and my low patience/frustration skills. So far zero to zero. The sticker book thing isn’t working (that was short-lived) and her yelling and talking back is right up there. She’s also been talked to at pre-school a number of times about her talking back and I can’t help but feel guilty because I know that it stems from me acting like a child in response to her.

Today was a good example. I picked her up after pre-school and she was all happy and smiles’, giving her friends hugs and kisses good-byes along with “I love you’s.” How cute I thought. Then we walk out to the car and “BAM” something switched.

She was upset that we weren’t going anywhere but home. She immediately started throwing a three year old fit crying and yelling that she needed to go somewhere. Truth is, I did have plans but they fell through so I just decided to go home. I guess I could’ve taken her to the park but I was hot, tired, and sweaty from my work-out.

Anyways, I get her in the car and she says I hurt her somehow while putting on the seatbelt. So now she’s really mad and I have no idea what I did to hurt her. I’m trying to ask her and she’s yelling at me, “That’s not nice!” “That hurt.” I tried asking her what happened but she was still yelling and crying. Then as I’m trying to finish buckling her, she’s leaning over and undid her seatbelt. This made me upset. I tried to tell her very sternly that this was not acceptable and she is to never unhook the seatbelt unless I tell her.

Then the arguing between parent and child (more like child and child,) ensues. She leans over to try and grab her stuffed lamb and I’m still trying to buckle her. I tell her, firmly, that I will get her lamb after I have her buckled in. She still is reaching. That’s when I now turn more into a child and start firmly holding her down while I buckle her. After I’m done, then I give her, her lamb.

More screaming and crying. At this point I told her that she is going to sit on the step when we get home for screaming (and I had given her a warning prior for screaming at me.) All the way home is her yelling, crying, screaming about things I couldn’t quite understand. I just turned up the radio to drown out her yelling. When she’d quite down then I’d turn it down but she inevitably would start yelling again, so I’d turn it back up. When we got home I finally understood what she was saying – after a few translation errors.

She said she didn’t want to go to Nancy’s class but wants to stay in Rachel’s class. So I’m guessing that they showed her, her new class that she’ll go to in a few weeks and this has her very concerned and mixed with her emotions with not going anywhere just escalated. For the most part I did handle it fairly well but again, my anger was boiling and I just tried to calm down and not talk to her. That’s the best way for me. I start arguing with a small child as if she completely understands what I’m trying to teach her.

In the car she was yelling at me and I wouldn’t answer and then she was screaming, “I can’t hear you mom!” She yelled this a few times and then I finally, calmly stated, “I’m not answering you when you talk to me like that.” That seemed to give her pause. I just have to remember my calm, non-talking in the heat of the situation seems to work better than me getting just as heated and upset.

All I can do is hope that I change so that she’ll change – for the better.

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